Sunday, July 17, 2011

That My Perception of Friendship has changed.....

I think that throughout the years we discover that you can't be friends with everyone. Its really sad to think about, but its true. I think that my perception of what true friendship truly means has changed, and that the older I get, the more I go through, and the further I get in life the more important it is for me to choose the right people in my surroundings. My advice to anyone is to be careful who you keep in your life because it affects so many things. It takes a real person to be a real friend and sometimes you have to be careful how you treat people.

Andrea puts it in a good way......

10 Signs that you are not completely a good friend (yet)
Feel free to replace "she" with "he". I do recognize that a guy could be reading this and that friends for females could be guys.

1. You lie. Big one!!!! If you lie about, it will come out. Just don't try it.
2. You are patronizing. If you think that someone isn't as smart, or cute, or awesome as you....and you make a point to make it known. you really need to rethink your life. Friends take pride in helping their friends see their strengths. Everybody has them and you have weaknesses.
3. You talk behind their backs. There's a difference between seeking advice from other friends about a way to deal with an issue and flat out dogging a person out. If you have to do that....just stop being friends with them now, you obviously don't care about them on that will be doing them a huge favor. If you want to do it to other people, whatever thats your business, but don't call those people friends.
4. They are going through something and you disappear. Need I say more? There's a difference between not knowing how to deal with something directly and not being available. Example: I've never experienced death, but if my friend is going through it, I'll make sure I'm at least on her call list.
5. You don't correct them when they are wrong. This is a hard one. When my friends do f-ed up stuff, Its hard to reason sometimes, but I am a firm believer that moral growth is important to relationships, and as completely uncomfortable as it is, I gotta say something at least once. Not in a patronizing way *see number 2* but just to make them think about consequences attached to wrong doings. Hey, none of us is perfect, and we all do messed up stuff, But, I'd rather my friends tell me one on one "Hey, you are being a b*itch in this situation."
6. You act competitive/jealous. This can single handed-ly not only mess up your friendship, but is a sign that you lack the ability to look at your life on your own terms. Looking at your life in comparison to other people's will have consequences. Envy is a human emotion, and its natural to want something someone else has. But your reaction is supposed to be happiness when your friends gets something good in her life. And vice versa. Being a crab in the bucket is wack!
7. You steal/flirt with her boyfriend/ex boyfriend. Nuff said....especially if she doesn't know. With the ex....if she doesn't care I suppose its fine. I just try not to risk it personally because I know how I would feel. If you are willing to lose a friend....steal her man I guess. I promise it won't be a positive trade off.
8. You can't keep her secrets/personal information. Girl code. Article one section two. LOL
9. You keep things from her. I guess this is the opposite of lying. If you have feelings about your relationship between each other, and don't reveal them, the relationship will not improve and you will harbor unresolved feelings. This also applies to when someone is doing her wrong. This is debated and people have different variations and opinions to the second part, so thats strictly coming from me and my personal expectations of my friends.
10. You don't spend time with her purposely. Ok, if she annoys you, why are you friends? It could be she may exhibit some of the other qualities and that's why, but refer to #5.

Ok. I'm off my soapbox for today. It's worth it to work on friendships and no one is perfect. Hope you guys like it. Feel free to comment. Adios Amigos!

To my friends I love you!


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